


Buying Time

by Yamino_Yama



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bufferflies After the Rain, Butterfly Effect, M/M, Tragic Romance, mezzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamino_Yama/pseuds/Yamino_Yama
Summary: Clockmaker Tamaki gets visited by a unusual guest, a young man named Sogo who claims he has a pocket watch for a heart, and that his time is running out. Unable to repair the ticking heart of the person he's grown fond of, Tamaki asks if Sogo has ever considered turning back time. What would happen if Tamaki could make sure Sogo never wound up with such a bruised and broken heart? Neither of them is sure if repairing damages would work, if it's even possible, but to buy more time together, they're both willing to try.*Trigger Warning: brief mention of suicide attempts
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Kudos: 16





	1. Cause and Effect

**Author's Note:**

> This was my fic for the zine Butterflies After the Rain! The theme was The Butterfly Effect. I had a lot of fun working with so many other talented writers and artists! Please check out their works as well by checking out the zine's twitter @/mezzo_mezzo45.
> 
> Since the fic is rather long, I've divided it into chapters, but decided to upload them all at once so you all won't have to wait. The cliffhangers would be painful otherwise ^^;
> 
> As always, kudos and comments welcome and appreciated! Enjoy reading! ^_~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting that shakes their hearts...

While the sun's light died from the sky, Tamaki worked on closing his clock shop, halting only when he caught a presence in his peripheral vision. He quit fiddling his door’s lock, turned, and saw a stranger. The wind ruffled the stranger’s hair and he swept it aside, giving Tamaki his first real look at this new face. _A young guy_ , he noted, _not too much older, with a kind smile and worried eyes._

“I'm sorry,” the stranger said. “I know that it's after operating hours, but it took me a while to find your shop, and I have an urgent matter.”

Tamaki smirked and shrugged. “Guess you can't help but be late if you have a broken watch. Time can stop ticking for your watch, but it doesn’t for you.”

A small frown creased the stranger’s brow, but he said nothing.

Feeling a bit miffed that he didn't get so much as a smile or giggle for the joke, Tamaki looked the stranger over more closely, head to toe. His clothes were pretty fancy, and a style Tamaki had never seen before. “You're not from around here, are you?” Tamaki asked.

The stranger shook his head. “I heard word that you were a great horologist. The best.”

Tamaki frowned. “Hor—what?”

“Horologist – a person skilled in making clocks. You see, I have this pocket watch that _must_ be fixed.” He pulled out said watch and held it up.

“Whoa, looks pretty old and beaten,” Tamaki said, not even trying to mince his words. “How about buying a new one? I have some great models that'll last a long while and keep proper time to the second.”

The stranger shook his head again. “You don't understand. You have to fix _this_ one.” He turned away, a blush on his face, and Tamaki got that he was embarrassed for being so stubborn, as well as for being so outspoken about it.

Tamaki softened and gave a chuckle. “That important, huh?”

Well,” the stranger started, meeting Tamaki's eyes again, “it's my heart after all.”

“Your . . . heart?” Tamaki asked. “Like . . . for real?”

“Yes,” he said, looking back at the watch with pity. “And its ticking is growing weaker. When it stops, I'll—”

“D-don't worry,” Tamaki cut him off. “I'll do what I can.”

And he meant it. He didn't know a thing about this stranger and all the stuff he was saying sounded so impossible, it could be a lie, but Tamaki trusted the sadness in this guy's eyes, and he wanted to do what he could to chase it away. Tamaki had a feeling, a strong one, that if this stranger smiled with all his might, it would be Tamaki's heart in trouble.

“What's your name?” Tamaki asked.

“Ah, sorry for not introducing myself sooner. Osaka Sogo.”

Tamaki smiled. “Sou-chan.”

“Eh—”

“I'm Tamaki. Yotsuba Tamaki.”

Sou-chan smiled as he repeated, “Tamaki-kun.” It was a small smile, but it was a glimpse of what Tamaki already knew – _his_ heart was the one in trouble. It was a bit frightening, having his heart beat so fast while his stomach felt queasy and his mouth dry. Tamaki didn't really _get_ it, but it was also a feeling he wouldn't mind having more of. Perhaps it was because underneath all the weird goings-on, there was a happiness bigger than any he'd ever had before.

Face growing hot, Tamaki gestured toward his shop. “You might have seen me locking the workshop from outside, but that’s just the public entrance. There’s another door inside, and since I live here, I often keep working overtime. You could come in, stay the night, if you have nowhere else to go. And that way I'd get to have a better look at your watch right away.”

“That would be great. Thank you.”

#

The sun rose on a new day. Taking a sip of his morning hot chocolate, Tamaki gazed from his kitchen to where a sleeping Sou-chan lie bundled on his couch. He smiled against the rim of his cup. Looking over Sou-chan's watch had meant the two of them sitting face-to-face for a couple hours, as Tamaki learned Sou-chan couldn't be separated from the object. A chain tethered the two, running from the watch to a small hole in Sou-chan's chest, just above where the average heart _would_ be.

“I was told never to sever the chain,” Sou-chan had explained. “Just as breaking the watch itself would be a death wish, if the chain snaps I'd die instantly. Still, no one should have bothered with the warning. It's a tough chain.”

Tamaki hadn't said anything but he'd noticed that the chain had nicks as if, despite what Sou-chan had said, despite it being dangerous, the chain had been hacked at. Tamaki kept working, checking things over, not asking questions. Sou-chan moved and spoke in a cautious manner. Tamaki didn't want to make him remember painful things if he didn't want to. Tamaki knew that there were lots of things better off forgotten. A lot of people too.

Instead of dark stuff, the two talked about things they liked. Tamaki started, saying he lived off sweets and dreamed of chasing stars. Sou-chan relaxed and revealed he loved music and books and spicy things. When Tamaki joked that spicy things might burn a new hole in Sou-chan's chest, he immediately made the smart remark that then perhaps he could attach a new watch there as a backup. The two of them laughed, their voices harmonizing into one.

Now Tamaki narrowed his eyes, watching Sou-chan turn in his sleep. His watch was badly worn, rusted, cracked, yet it ticked in proper time. But for how long. Though it had a steady rhythm, its sound was low, no doubt fading like Sou-chan thought. It didn't appear to run on battery, wasn't solar powered, and didn't have an automatic mechanism driving the main spring like one of the advanced models Tamaki had expected it was a form of. Tamaki couldn't figure out what made it work at all. It may as well be running on magic. How could Tamaki fix it? And if he didn't fix it . . .

Tamaki fumbled his cup as Sou-chan suddenly let out a loud moan during a stretch. Putting the cup down, Tamaki walked over in time to see Sou-chan blinking his eyes open. “Good morning,” he whispered.

Tamaki smiled. “Morning. Hey, can I show you something?”

Sou-chan rubbed his eyes. “Now?”

“Now.” Tamaki took him by the hand and pulled him outside and around to the back of the shop. He heard Sou-chan gasp and grinned victorious before peeking back to see the sunlight reflected in Sou-chan's wide eyes. “I take it it's the first time you've seen a sunset?” Tamaki asked.

“It's the first time I've seen one like _this_ ,” Sou-chan exclaimed, almost sounding out of breath.

Tamaki couldn't blame him. The shop sat on a hill dotted with blue flowers and at the bottom where the sun's first rays kissed the horizon, those blue flowers absorbed the red light and took on a purple hue. Somehow that purple reminded Tamaki of Sou-chan, absorbing everything around him and glowing royally because of it.

“I'm glad I could see this,” Sou-chan whispered. “Thank you.”

“There's a lot more amazing things to see. I'll get that watch of yours fixed up and show you.”

Sou-chan didn't answer. Tamaki's mind suffered on waves of unease, wondering whether he'd said too much or the wrong thing entirely. Sure, he had doubts about the ease of fixing Sou-chan's watch, but he hadn't given up yet. It was far too soon to quit trying. But perhaps Sou-chan didn't feel the same.

“I'll head back in,” Sou-chan said without another glance at the sunrise. Tamaki watched him slink away. More confident than ever that he couldn't give up, not when Sou-chan had already given up on himself.

#

Tamaki spent the day observing Sou-chan's watch again, feeling a little weird whenever he tinkered around inside and was met with Sou-chan's blush. Gazing inside someone's heart was an intimate thing, if Tamaki thought about it, but he tried not to because his own face would begin to burn in embarrassment and he didn't want Sou-chan to see. The situation being dire distracted him. No matter how much he poked and prodded, he couldn't figure things out.

That day came and went, then another, and another.

One evening Tamaki woke from a nap and didn't find Sou-chan sitting up and watching as he usually did. Panicked, he searched through the shop, ran outside, and was struck with the idea to check the back. There was Sou-chan, sitting on the hill and staring at his watch.

Tamaki halted, mouth gaping, again mystified by how naturally Sou-chan swept up the light around him and glowed. Tonight he'd caught the moon and starlight in his hair and a sad yet powerful energy radiated from him. Tamaki took a deep breath, letting the sweet floral scent in the air provide some calm, and mustered the courage to approach him.

“I'm sorry I wasn't able to fix it,” Tamaki said, causing Sou-chan to turn.

“It's advanced technology I believe,” Sou-chan said, running a finger over his watch before re-pocketing it. “The man who designed it was the kindest but apparently he was put under a lot of pressure to fine-tune his works as others saw fit. I'm from a rather well-off family so any matter of science advancements could have been outsourced to finish it. No price would have been unreasonable. It was a shot in the dark, asking for your help. And even if you can't fix it, I don't regret coming here.”

“Huh?” Tamaki asked.

Sou-chan grinned up at him. “Because I got to meet you. Every day we had together was a time I can treasure. I can't say that about much of my life, so thank you.”

“You know what, Sou-chan, even though you're strong and fight hard, you also give up easily.” Sou-chan frowned at him and Tamaki felt another inkling of Sou-chan's hidden strength. “I don't mean anything bad by that,” he added quickly, taking a seat next to Sou-chan, allowing their legs to brush even as it made his heart dance like crazy. “It can be scary to give it everything you've got charging ahead when it's too dark to see where you're going. You still walk forward in the dark, but you take it slow, making sure you don't slip and fall. There's nothing wrong with that,” he said again.

“What do you suggest I do instead. I might be cautious, but I want to take risks. I'd do anything to stay like this, living here and now, finally knowing how it feels to be at peace, to be happy.”

“You're happy . . . being with me?” Tamaki asked, fiddling with a blade of grass.

“Of course,” Sou-chan answered. “How about you?”

Tamaki started, turning to Sou-chan in excitement. “Having you here is great. I don't have any family except my little sister who's doing her own thing, for better or worse, and this place is pretty isolated so having any company is nice . . . but especially you.” Tamaki's voice had worn thin toward the end, but a glance and smile from Sou-chan told Tamaki that he'd been heard.

Sou-chan chuckled, leaning closer and putting his head on Tamaki's shoulder. “I'm especially fond of you too,” he said.

Tamaki's heart fluttered, but he tried to remain calm so as not to shake Sou-chan who had closed his eyes.

“I'm scared though,” Sou-chan said, eyes still shut. “If my heart goes, my life ends. And everyday I feel my time inching closer and closer to the end. As I said, I don't regret meeting you, developing these feelings, but I almost hate sharing them. I don't want you hurt because of me, when I—”

“I still plan to save you, Sou-chan. I definitely plan to save you.” Sou-chan opened his eyes and met Tamaki's. There was fear there, but more terrifying to Tamaki was that he could see the first signs of weakness. That strength that he found so memorizing in Sou-chan was waning.

“Let's go in,” Tamaki suggested. “It's getting chilly.”

Sou-chan didn't argue, just let Tamaki take him by the hand, giving him a squeeze that made Tamaki hold tighter.

#

A couple weeks had passed. There was a bit of time when Sou-chan seemed to be recovering, acting cheerful and healthy, but his not letting Tamaki see his watch made Tamaki doubt Sou-chan was completely restored, much as he wished for a miracle. But one evening, Sou-chan broke down, unable to keep up the charade. He writhed, gasping for air, clutching the watch's chain where it met his chest. Tamaki wanted to do something, needed to do something, but his mind was erratic as he hovered over Sou-chan, going from trying to cradle him to backing away, not knowing if his touch was causing more pain.

“We have to do something, Sou-chan. That joke you made about a back-up watch—,” he started, but Sou-chan shook his head.

“It was just that,” Sou-chan said, “a joke. There's no one alive who can operate on me. I'm an obsolete toy. Once my parts wore down, I was destined for the garbage. But still, somehow, I'd been holding on to hope.”

“You're not a toy,” Tamaki growled, “and you definitely aren't garbage.” Now confident that it would do more good than harm, he took Sou-chan in his arms and held him tight. Sou-chan was hesitant, but in seconds, Tamaki felt Sou-chan's fingers clutching his back, desperate.

“I don't want to die now,” he confessed. “For the first time in life, I feel like I belong somewhere, with someone. I don't want it to end yet. I just found you.”

Tamaki heard Sou-chan's voice crack and felt a lump in his throat as he swallowed.

“W-we shouldn't give up yet.” Tamaki noted the stammer in his own voice. With his throat constricted, chest heavy, hands and heart jittering, Tamaki felt like he was the one dying. “I'm not giving up yet. I can't.”

Sou-chan pulled back from Tamaki's embrace enough to look up at him. “What can we do?”

It seemed impossible. Everything seemed impossible. Maybe that's what they could do.

“We're thinking of possible things, when we shouldn't,” Tamaki said out loud. A glance at Sou-chan told Tamaki that he didn't get it. “I mean we thought of making time go on, and can't. Stopping time doesn't work because that means we can't go forward, but what if we try going back.”

Sou-chan blinked. “You mean turn back time.” He looked down at his watch. “Turn back _my_ time.”

“Have you ever done that? _Can_ you do that?”

“I've never tried, and it sounds impossible really.”

“But that's what I was saying,” Tamaki said, leaning closer to Sou-chan. “We need to think bigger, do something we thought was impossible _because_ everything's looking impossible.”

As pumped as Tamaki was feeling, Sou-chan seemed to deflate as he sighed. “I get what you're trying to say, but it's unlikely. This watch was made by someone. It isn't magic.”

“How do you know?” Tamaki prompted. “All my years working on clocks and watches, and I've never seen anything like it. It's a heart-watch! Isn't that amazing as it is? Maybe the person who made it gave you a way to repair it yourself. Maybe I can help. If you don't get brokenhearted so much, the watch won't get worn out . . . maybe.”

Sou-chan shook his head. “There are too many maybes.”

“I want to try. I _have_ to try.”

“I've . . . tried pushing the hands of time forward once, trying to get to a better time, and they didn't move.”

“But not back,” Tamaki reminded him.

“Even if I could go back, how could things change?” Sou-chan's arms moved from around Tamaki and instead hugged himself. He scrunched his eyes shut, beginning to curl in on himself. “What if I just have to go through everything again only to get back here, to lose my time with you all over again?”

Tamaki reached for Sou-chan, easing his head up and taking his time to rub the tears from his face. “I want you to do something for me.” He got up a moment and fetched a notebook he'd had forever. “Write about all your most painful times in this.”

Sou-chan looked from the notebook back up to Tamaki. “What are you going to do?”

“Hold that notebook, turn back time, and use it to change things. Get rid of Sou-chan's sadness, and your heart won't be broken.”

For a minute, Sou-chan gaped at him, then he looked at Tamaki's notebook once again with a smile. “It sounds impossible all right . . . but it's worth a try.”

#

“Are you sure about this?” Sou-chan asked for the hundredth time. “We don't know what will happen. Will time go back for everyone or just me? Will I still have this adult form or will I return to being a child? You're relying on that notebook, but what if everything I wrote in it disappears, since I technically wouldn't have written anything yet?”

Tamaki's fingers paused over Sou-chan's watch, although he knew he couldn't wait long. Sou-chan's breathing was labored. Between every few words, he'd take a deep breath to keep the strength to talk. “You're overthinking, Sou-chan. We don't have time and that's why we have no choice but to try and buy more.” Tamaki clutched the notebook to his chest, wanting it close in case travel tried separating it from him. “I've had this notebook since I was a kid. If I go back to being one, it'll be there. And we're going to have to trust your words will too.”

Tamaki had also added a little message to himself on the first page in hopes that his younger self would read it and come to trust everything else. “And if I'm a kid,” Tamaki continued, “you'd be a kid. It's the past after all. Everyone has a past, so everyone would be going back to it, right?”

“I don't know, but what if . . .” Sou-chan was trembling and Tamaki couldn't tell if it was from his health getting worse or his fear.

Tamaki nuzzled him, tickling his cheek with Sou-chan's fluffy hair. “'What if,' what?”

Voice weak, Sou-chan asked, “What if you forget me?”

Tamaki brushed Sou-chan's nose with his own, resting there and meeting Sou-chan's eyes until he blushed and giggled. “Nevermind time-travel, _that's_ impossible.” In a whisper, he added, “Never.”

Tamaki braced his fingers over the watch's hands again and asked Sou-chan a question of his own. “Ready?”

Weakened or not, a strong resolve flashed in Sou-chan's eyes as he nodded and it was all the answer Tamaki needed. Taking a deep breath, Tamaki pressed his lips to Sou-chan's and simultaneously applied pressure to the watch's hour hand. He felt it spin, and his whole world with it.


	2. Past Perfect: Rewriting History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attempting to fix the damage...

Tamaki woke up in a cold sweat, his notebook clutched tight in his hands, although he didn't remember picking it up from his desk before going to bed last night. Actually, it was hard to remember last night . . .

A fervent whisper broke the silence. “Stop breathing like a dog, Tamaki. This is an orphanage, not an animal shelter. Being cute won't get you anywhere. If you want to be adopted, you'll have to quit being so noisy.”

Tamaki glared at the girl through the dim lighting. “I'm no noisier than you with your bear snores, Marin.”

“Say that again and I'll turn off the nightlight.”

Tamaki clamped his lips shut, knowing Marin would. He glanced around at the younger ones as they slept on, oblivious to the older kids' talking. They were even more scared of the dark than he was. They'd panic if they woke up in pitch blackness so Tamaki held his tongue, turning his back to Marin. There was just enough of a glow that he could draw if he wanted. Maybe that's what he'd wanted to do before going to bed and that's why his notebook was in his hands. Tamaki opened the book and started at all the writing there. Did Marin do it as a prank? Fuming, he squinted to read.

**Hey! You'll think this is weird but trust me (future you) when I say to take the stuff written here seriously. I need you to help Sou-chan (the guy who wrote everything after this). He's going to be important to you, more important than King Pudding even. You'll love him so much, he'll make the world brighter. Make him happy so that his heart won't be broken beyond repair. Please.**

**FUTURE YOU (TAMAKI)**

Freaked out, Tamaki almost threw his notebook, but he stopped himself. A ghost wouldn't know King Pudding or his name, would it? Maybe it wasn't dark magic or some curse either . . .

The message was in his handwriting, just a bit neater, and it sounded like him too. Words from the future finding their way to him sounded like something from a manga, but here they were. Tamaki opened the book again to be sure and noticed more words further down in a different handwriting. If what Future Him said was true, this was the part from the other guy.

“Sou-chan,” Tamaki whispered.

His face heated at the name. He'd never liked anyone before, not as more than friends, but Future Him said he was going to _love_ this Sou-chan, love him more than King Pudding! So much that the world seemed brighter . . . Who was he? How could he be so special?

Leaning to make out the lighter writing, Tamaki read on, the snores of the other kids the only sound aside from his beating heart.

#

Tamaki woke with tears in his eyes, clutching his notebook like his life depended on it. It did, Tamaki realized, but it wasn't just his life. He didn't fully get who Sou-chan was, but he could tell he mattered from the words seeped in loneliness and pain that mirrored his own, later turning to joy when describing time with Future Him. This Sou-chan wasn't just someone Future Him loved; Sou-chan loved Future Him back, meaning now's Sou-chan might love the current Tamaki. There might be someone left in this world, someone close, who could love him.

His mom was lost forever, and he couldn't see his sister Aya anymore; older kids here shouted and kicked him for not obeying, and the adults further hurt him inside by chiding him all the time even when he tried his best. If Sou-chan was someone who cared for him, loved him, he'd do what Future Him wanted; he'd fight to make this Sou-chan happy. Sou-chan was going to be at a nearby playground in a week's time, the evening of a funeral that shook Sou-chan hard. Tamaki would have to break away to be there.

He was on extra good behavior until the day he needed to disobey the rules, thinking maybe it would help Sensei not get _super_ upset with him. Although he wouldn’t bet on it, it was worth doing anyway. Going out past curfew, and without supervision, was one of those things that made people angry because they worried, and he didn't want to make Sensei worry too much. She was strict, but nice when she was happy. Maybe if he returned in a hurry—

“Tamaki-niisan,” a small voice stopped him from slipping from the bedroom door. Tamaki turned back and saw Hirochin, one of the youngest.

He knelt before the little guy, ruffling his hair. “What's up, Hirochin?”

“Are you going out?”

“Yeah, I've gotta.”

The boy pulled at the hem of his shirt. “Are you coming back?”

“Of course. Promise.”

Hirochin still looked unsure so Tamaki made him a pinkie swear and directed him back to bed. “Mariko will tattle if she finds you gone,” Hirochin whispered as Tamaki tucked him in.

“Try not to wake Marin or the others,” he whispered back. “I'll be back, quick as I can. Let me know if Marin or any other of the older kids gives you a hard time while I'm away and I'll make them think twice before doing it again.” He held up his fists until Hirochin laughed and relaxed, closing his eyes.

Before anyone else could notice him, Tamaki crept away, running on tiptoe through the night with only a few streetlights to comfort him from the dark. Some strangers were on the street but Tamaki tried not to be seen. He didn't need anyone to ask him where his parents were and call for help. The park Sou-chan had mentioned wasn't too far, and he'd been there before, a long time ago. A vision of his mother pushing Aya on the swings flashed before his eyes, and now, as he made his way closer, he really _could_ make out a figure swaying listlessly on the swings under the park's dim spotlights: a boy, a few years older than him, hanging his head.

_Sou-chan!_

He'd never seen a picture, and hadn't read a description of his appearance, but Tamaki _knew_ this was the Sou-chan he was looking for, the one he had to save. One thing that Future Sou-chan _had_ written to describe himself was that he had a watch heart, and sure enough Tamaki could hear it ticking, even over the racket his own nervous heart was making. Sou-chan looked up at him and the rush of his heart grew worse. Sick under the scrutiny of the boy's violet gaze, Tamaki managed a 'hello' before taking the empty swing next to him. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Sou-chan still gawking at him. Tamaki squeezed the swings' chains and rocked sideways in his seat.

“What's a young child like you doing out alone at night?” Sou-chan asked.

“You're a kid too,” Tamaki countered, shooting him a glance. “What are _you_ doing?”

Visibly shaken, Sou-chan looked down again. After a pause, he muttered, “Trying to gather myself.”

“I don't get it.”

“Someone as young as you wouldn't.”

Tamaki scoffed. “What are you? Nine?”

“Ten,” Sou-chan said heatedly.

“You're kind of small for ten, and anyway I'm one of the older kids at the orphanage.”

“Orphanage?” Sou-chan interjected but Tamaki kept talking.

“I've even had a fight with a few older kids and won.”

“You shouldn't fight,” Sou-chan scolded.

“Some things are worth fighting for.”

“Really? Because all I've seen is that fighting tires you out and gives others something to laugh about when you inevitably crumble.”

Tamaki knew why Sou-chan said that, but realized he couldn't just say, 'Your uncle fought well, and I'm not laughing.' He'd heard what a great man he'd been through Future Sou-chan's writing, an inventor who barely got recognition despite designing the watch that kept Sou-chan living. Trusting Future Sou-chan didn't lie, this was the day that uncle he loved so much was meant to be honored, but was instead criticized, a time when the man could say nothing to defend himself because he'd already left this world behind.

“I lost someone important to me recently,” Sou-chan admitted, confirming what Tamaki already knew. “I tried to follow but it turns out safety scissors make for a horrible knife.”

A chill ran through Tamaki, learning something even the future Sou-chan didn't tell.

“What the heck?” He spoke through gritted teeth and Sou-chan must not have heard because he kept talking.

“I got my hands on a real knife from the kitchen, but I almost sliced my hand trying to break . . . the only thing tethering me to this life.”

_The chain_ , Tamaki thought. Future Sou-chan explained that other humans had many organs keeping them alive and losing any of them could spell the end, but he, Sou-chan, would keep ticking thanks to his watch. Both chain and watch were sturdy, both near impossible to break through physical means. Only emotional stuff wore the watch's strength thin. Maybe this Sou-chan didn't know that yet. Maybe this was his first lesson in knowing himself.

“Momentarily,” Sou-chan said, voice thick, “I felt scared of sharp objects for the first time in my life. I realized with the fear of getting hurt that I want to live, despite feeling I'd lost the reason to. Funny, right?”

“Not funny at all!” Tamaki raised his head and roared at the sky. Sou-chan was eyeing him with caution, but Tamaki growled some more, furious and pained.

“Don't ever do it again . . . try something like that. You're a kid. Even if days feel pointless, even if you're alone for now and it's storming around you, tomorrow's rain might not sting as much as it does today; it could get gentle, ease up, or stop entirely, and a rainbow might wait at the end of it all.” Sou-chan still looked confused, so Tamaki said as plainly as he could, “things can change from bad to good, great even, and whoever you lost, they're still wishing you well.”

Tears sprang to Sou-chan's eyes, and touching his own face, Tamaki noticed his eyes had also done some leaking.

“You're wise, for a child.”

Tamaki scoffed. “Again, you're a kid too. Quit acting like a king. The only one around who can do that is King Pudding 'cause he's wearing the crown.”

Sou-chan smiled, rubbing away his tears. “You're right. Ah, it's been forever since I cried. I can't even remember when it happened last. Guess I'd been holding it in . . . thank you.”

Tamaki puffed up, victorious. “Thanking me, huh? Guess this younger kid's managed to teach you a thing or two.”

A seriousness fell over Sou-chan and he started fidgeting in his swing, making it move all awkward and sideways. “I'm sorry I underestimated you. Sometimes I feel like I can't understand others,” Sou-chan went on, “not entirely, and I think maybe it's because I'm just a doll with something missing.”

Tamaki hopped from his swing and grabbed Sou-chan's, putting a stop to his swaying. “You're not a doll. Nothing's missing. I-in fact, I think you've got something extra. You're kinda like an angel.”

A laugh slipped past Sou-chan's lips, small yet uplifting like a young bird's twitter before it learned its song. Tamaki's heart ran so hard at the sound, he took a hand and gave his chest a squeeze.

“My name is Osaka Sogo, by the way, and I'm pleased to meet you.”

Tamaki grinned, taking his hand. “Nice to meet ya, Sou-chan.”

“S-Sou-chan?” He looked like he wanted to object to the name, but wound up loosening up and smiling again, causing Tamaki to stare and almost lose all train of thought. “What should I call you then?” Sou-chan asked.

“Ta—”

“Young Master!”

In an instant, people in black clothes had gathered around Sou-chan, shoving Tamaki away and dragging Sou-chan off. They shouted about taking him home, how running away was improper, how his father was furious, while Sou-chan shouted back some pleas that were all but drowned out by the adult voices. Tamaki barely caught a final glimpse of Sou-chan before he was gone.

Feeling scared now, Tamaki ran back the way he'd come, making it back to the orphanage and getting an ear full from Sensei when he failed to reenter unnoticed. It didn't bother Tamaki at all. His mind was elsewhere, on a Sou-chan who undoubtedly felt more alone than he did.

#

A couple years passed with Tamaki not forgetting Sou-chan or his mission to save him. There were missed opportunities on his part – bullying incidents that were too hard to tack exact dates to, disappointing birthday parties that took place too far away for Tamaki to get to, and were too exclusive even if he did, but today he felt he could do something.

It was the day Sou-chan got test score results for high school entrance exams. Future Sou-chan said that he'd passed with high marks but that he was still denied the ability to go where he wanted by his father. He wound up going to a local prestigious place where he couldn't breathe for all the stuffy guys around him. It broke Sou-chan's spirit and made him feel like a doll again, a puppet on strings. If Sou-chan couldn't snipe the threads that bound and controlled him, Tamaki would take up the scissors for him.

It sounded strong in his head, but his only plan was to be by Sou-chan's side and hold up the argument until Sou-chan's father was convinced to let him live his own way. But would a man as pigheaded as Sou-chan's father take a kid three years his son's junior seriously? Tamaki narrowed his eyes, imagining the stare-down. He'd just have to try.

Tamaki spotted Sou-chan among the crowd of students checking out the billboard to see if they'd managed a passing test score. Tamaki's height matching those around him despite his age might have allowed him to blend in, but his lack of this school's uniform would certainly cause him to stick out. He could only hope no one called the president of the student council or, worse, a teacher on him. Braving himself, he walked up beside Sou-chan and waited for him to glance his way.

“Got in?” Tamaki asked nonchalantly.

Sou-chan nodded. “Yes, but it won't matter. I won't be able to go so . . .”

Tamaki started. The way it was written, Sou-chan was supposed to be excited, thinking he could go to the university of his choice until his father disappointed him later. This Sou-chan already seemed resigned, like he'd already given up on a future of his own choosing. It jarred with the Sou-chan he knew, or once knew, and made Tamaki lose his tongue.

Sou-chan was the one to say more, tilting his head. “You . . . remind me of someone.” He laughed before adding, “but I guess that isn't possible.”

Tamaki wondered if Sou-chan was remembering their meeting in the park when they were young. A giddiness coursed through him at the thought of Sou-chan remembering him. “Anything's possible,” Tamaki said. He didn't want to give too much away, but still . . .

Other kids were dispersing, making it so that he and Sou-chan were essentially alone. At the very least, no one was paying them any attention. Still, Sou-chan looked jittery, opening his mouth and closing it again like he had something to say but wasn't sure if it was all right to say it. Tamaki watched and waited until he got the nerve to say, “I was born with a weak heart and had to receive an . . . unusual transplant to keep me alive. The specifics are complicated, but it turns out that the very thing keeping me alive was the invention my family mocked my uncle most for. For so long, I thought it was just his being an inventor that they hated, that they couldn't recognize his talent, but no. He designed and made it, all on his own, and they ridiculed him to death, calling his invention useless, a waste of time. They told him to quit fussing over making it better and work on something more practical, something with more potential gain, while I stood before them with what they called a 'rubbish invention' fueling me.”

“Eh?” This was new information, something that wasn't written by Future Sou-chan, and it caught Tamaki off guard. A thousand questions were firing in Tamaki's head and even more warnings, but the funny look Sou-chan was giving him told him to amend his reaction quickly.“I-I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I don't think it's weird that you're different or anything. Actually, I think that's cool. I do think your family were jerks though. Except your uncle, of course. Those rotten family members could say what they want, but I'm glad he made his invention and that you're using it.”

“Yeah,” Sou-chan agreed, expression softening. “I just wish I could use the life he helped give me as I want.”

“Then do it,” Tamaki said simply. “It might not be easy and people around you may get pissed, but if they really care, they'll come around and be proud that you stood up and said what you wanted. They'll cheer you on even. After all, this is your time, no one else's.”

“Yes, but—”

Like at the park all those years ago, there was a sudden shout and Sou-chan turned along with a few bystanders. The Osaka family goons were approaching. “It's time to go, Young Master,” the Suits were saying, “you'll miss your flight.”

Dread caused Tamaki's stomach to plummet. “Flight? Sou-chan, where are you going?

“A school, far away,” Sou-chan managed to answer as he was shuffled away.

“When will you be back?” Tamaki called after him.

“I-I don't know. I'm sorry.” Tamaki saw tears in Sou-chan's eyes as he quit resisting, turning away and letting his bodyguards or whatever cart him off. Tamaki heard a sharp clink, like the sound of glass breaking. There was only one place that sound could have come from.

“Sou-chan, are you hurt? Sou-chan!”

Two of the Suits turned and shut the school gates on Tamaki, holding them to the protests of Tamaki and a few unlucky students as Sou-chan was loaded into the car. Tamaki watched, shaking, as the engine started and the car pulled off.

“Wait,” Tamaki whispered, fingers tightening on the rails that separated them. “This isn't supposed to happen.” Louder, he repeated, “Wait,” then shouted, “Sou-chan, wait! Don't leave. Don't let them take you. I haven't done enough yet. I haven't done enough to make you happy.”

The car Sou-chan was in was getting further and further away. He thought he saw Sou-chan glance out the back window, but soon the car was a black smudge on the horizon and, a moment later, it was eaten away from his line of sight.

The remaining Suits unbarred the school gate and entered their own car. Tamaki ran after them, only managing to give the car door's handle one yank, before meeting resistance. Of course it was locked. He knocked on the window and was ignored by the driver who looked content staring dead ahead. “Don't ignore me,” Tamaki ordered. “Take me to Sou-chan. You know where he was taken, right? Please.” Desperation turned his angry words into a plea, but this car, like the other, pulled away and vanished into the distance.

Tamaki stumbled back home to the orphanage, avoiding getting caught by Sensei and not much caring if he did. Reprimands floated in one ear and out the other without connecting with anything inside his head right now, he was so empty. He could hear the other kids were playing in the yard, so he went to his room, and was thankful to find no one in it, just as he needed it. He didn't want to see anyone right now, no one that wasn't Sou-chan.

 _Sou-chan_ . . .

A name that made him happy was now paining him, crippling him so much he could hardly stand. Where was Sou-chan headed? Would Tamaki ever see him again. “I'm such an idiot,” he muttered to himself. “Current me _and_ future me. How'd you think this was a good idea? Dammit, you know me better than anyone. You knew I'd mess this up. You can never do anything right and now you've lost Sou-chan twice. Hrgg—”

In a fit of rage, he picked up the notebook that had been guiding him and threw it to the floor. His eyes burned with tears but through the blur he made out something that ebbed his anger. An envelope had fallen from the book's pages, one he'd never noticed before. Curious despite himself, Tamaki wiped his tears away, picked it up, unfolded the letter it held inside.

**I'm writing this while Present You isn't looking over my shoulder. Tamaki-kun, I've mentioned how important you are to me, how much you changed my life in the short time I've known you. Whatever happens in your timeline, whether you're able to change the future or not, you've done enough for me, more than enough. Of course, I'd have liked more time with you, but every minute was precious. I've accepted that my life may end here no matter what, so don't blame yourself should things don't work out. It's hard for anyone to plan the future when so much is uncertain. Regardless, I found you, loved you, and got happiness. I'm thankful. So, again, no matter what, smile and know that even if my life ends here, my love for you is infinite, and I do mean the you who is reading this too. Present You wouldn't exist without Past You. You did well growing up despite the struggles and I'm sure Past Me would praise you too. Good work, Young Tamaki-kun.**

**Forever Yours (no matter the time),**

**Sou-chan**

Tamaki's legs gave out and he fell back to his bed. He stared at the words _Forever Yours_ and began crying again, holding the letter close as though hugging the one who'd written it.


	3. Fluttering Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion...

Years later, in the period of his life when Tamaki should be meeting watch-for-a-heart Sou-chan for the first time, he busied himself with work in the clock store, wondering if it would even happen. He'd tried to stick as close to the path required to lead him to the time Old Future Him and Old Future Sou-chan had described, but he didn't one hundred percent line up with the person he'd once grown up to be. His past was different from the one his old Future Self had experienced. He was a Tamaki that had met Sou-chan, spoken with him, and lost him. There was a chance he'd already lost him for good, and didn't even have a way of knowing.

Often his eyes wandered out the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of a slim figure heading his way, smiling as his pale hair blew carefree. Of course, Tamaki would get disappointed by a different patron, or by no one at all. One evening, to try and ebb his longing, he decided to sit on the hill out back. Tamaki didn't know why, but rather than glowing, the flowers' color seemed muted under the moon's light. Then again, when was the last time things had looked bright or colorful?

Lost in thought, Tamaki didn't notice anyone had approached him until he felt someone grip his shoulder. His heart skipped in fright and he turned around with a frown that immediately melted away. A familiar face gazed down at him.

“Sou-chan?” Tamaki asked.

“That's right,” the person who was definitely Sou-chan answered, amusement in his eyes.

“Does this mean it worked?” Tamaki realized that Sou-chan wouldn't know what he was talking about. “I know that you have a watch heart. You didn't tell me exactly but I've always known. And I know that it breaks when something hurts you, like literal heartbreak. You were hurting when I last saw you, so I wasn't sure . . .”

“You weren't sure if I was still alive?”

“Well, yeah, or if I'd see you again. I know we only met twice. We only got to know so much about each other, but I missed you like someone had taken a part of me away, and I didn't know if you were all right so . . .”

Tamaki's eyes strung and he could barely see through the tears no matter how much he blinked. He looked down, embarrassed.

Sou-chan reached to hold Tamaki's face and direct his gaze up back to him. “Things happened,” Sou-chan said, “and I did still feel pain, and my watch has the cracks to prove it, but it still functions and I think it will for a long while.”

“How?” Tamaki choked out.

“Someone once told me that my time was my own, no one else's. I think-- No, I know that my heart would have shattered into a million pieces and stopped altogether without him. I couldn't forget him. I couldn't stay away no matter how many obstacles got in the way . . . You were always there when I needed someone most.”

“So you did realize I was the kid you met in the park,” Tamaki observed. “How and when were you sure?”

“As I was being plucked from my school and into a car, you called out 'Sou-chan.' I didn't tell anyone about that nickname and only one kind boy was sweet enough to make it up.”

Tamaki chuckled, trying and failing to keep from beaming.

“I've learned your name too, by the way,” Sou-chan said, smiling proud. “When I described you on my search, people on the outskirts of this town called you Tamaki the Clock-maker. Can I call you Tamaki-kun?”

“Yeah,” Tamaki grinned. “Perfect.”

Sou-chan leaned in close to Tamaki, joining their lips in a way that felt soft and warm and right. Tamaki was thrilled to hear Sou-chan's watch tick louder in response.

END


End file.
